Human Design

We've all heard of astrology influencing the character. Perhaps, many of us also know Myers-Briggs or even the Enneagram. But, if you're anything like me, you've either never heard or just come into awareness of Human Design. Somehow I came across it over a year ago and the more I delve into it, the more a rabbit hole it becomes. Someone recently (on a Reddit post) stated that it's a theory, not science, which might be the best way of looking at it. It's a very good theory though, perhaps rather genius. On the surface, it's like our introduction to astrology - rather generalized for the masses and can work across the board depending on how we're feeling that day or how we're choosing to identify. However, like Human Design, the more you delve into the details, conjunctions, nodes, planets, and day-to-day minutiae, it becomes more apparent that it holds validity. 

My purpose today though is not to get into whether or not Human Design can be authenticated or to explain all the intracacies. I was actually reexamining my chart and realized something profoundly out of place. I have prided (yes, prided) myself on knowing the "me" inside and out, or, at least, in a manner that validated the continuing unfolding depth of the detailed aspects of my selfhood. But, I saw one glaringly obvious bit of information that should have been a red flag for me. Like with astrology, the sun's aspect in the chart operates as the revealed personality for each individual. The primary sun-aspected trait of my character defines who I am and, in fact, every single other trait is expressed through this one main function. Yet, I wasn't consciously aware of it. The one trait I wasn't aware of and the one trait that is most important to who I am and how I operate. How can this be?

Well, I think this goes back to my previous posts on enmeshment trauma. Basically, the world around me demanded I shut it down, so while I may have continued operating from its fixed, inherent position, I thought I was its complete opposite until recent years. How fucked up is that? The irony of this character trait happens to be that it has to do with not only seeing the bigger picture but seeing its many details too. 

Sometimes, it's called the "Detail Whiz" and other times it's The Gate of Focus. To sum it up, knowing the end result allows me to break it down into doable parts very easily. I can see all the steps along the way and have absolutely focused attention in order to achieve the results I've envisioned. Why is this significant to you?

When I was but a child, I had a vision, but more importantly an idea, feeling, and knowing, of what I knew my end result to be. As a child, the vision I perceived could only be found in terms I was at the time familiar with which were "nun" and "amish." The feeling and knowing though encompassed the idea of a symbiotic relationship with God steeped in a recognized spiritual externalized framework. This was not sanctioned in my world as viable, worthy (except in theory), or logical. I was instead forced into someone else's understanding of how to function in the world. To top it off, I'm what's called a "projector" according to HD, which means I really don't function like others (well, except 20% of the population). So, my primary character trait that literally directs my life path, because that end result was unacceptable to others, went into hiding. It still remained but as an unconscious operating system. In its simplest interpretation, I never saw myself as a detail-oriented person. Yet, that is the one trait everything else must pass through. See, I set up my life, unknowingly, to achieve that goal of understanding God's divinity within me, by breaking it down into events and actions that honed my path. It just took longer than it should have. Now, I have a new, nuanced goal for this next phase but this time I get to understand it from a more conscious perspective and in open participation.

I encourage everyone to do an internet search for "Human Design" and get a free chart. Then, do your research to understand it. When we hide away aspects of ourselves, we may not be aware of it but we are making ourselves less-than. It can make us bitter, frustrated, hateful, confused, and so forth. Every one of us is unique - from our basic operations to how we take in information and express God's divinity through us. Are you being who you are meant to be or have you hidden away your selfhood too so that others can be more comfortable in their own limitation and perceptions? 

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." - Matthew 5:14-16